There were four in the bed and the vocal RAD said, "Aaaaahhhhh GET UP!!!"

My husband is out of town until late Thursday night, and on top of everything else the kids are working through, this is making them even more bonkers.

Mr. Stinky came in my room to sleep around 3am, Mr. Happy came in around 5:30am, and Mr. Screech came at 6:30am.

When the first two came in it was no big deal because they snuggled in and went right to sleep. Mr. Screech came in and immediately had the RAD look of, "What did I miss! How dare everyone be here and not me!" I had everyone squish over so he could get in bed and he lay there for 15 minutes and then started talking. 

I told him he needed to be quiet because everyone is sleeping and if he needed to go on then go quiet. What was I thinking! That was not good enough for a screeching RADling. He sat up on his knees on the edge of the bed watching everyone and making noises. I took him to his room and of course the screaming woke everyone up. I promised him he was not going to like his day because he did not do as he was told. 

When he asked for his breakfast I started crying and yelling (just like he had done), "I don't want to!" so he went and got his own cereal and milk. 

When it was time for lunch I asked if he wanted a grilled cheese or corn dog and he said, "Corn Dog!" He got grilled cheese because I decided not to listen to him.

When he said, "But I asked for a corn dog!" I said, (in a surprised nice toned voice) "Oh! I thought we were not listening to what people wanted or asked for today." and walked on. He was a very sad boy so I came back and validated that it was sad when people don't listen to what others are asking.

This might take a million times of doing, but he will get it eventually. This is a natural and logical consequence.

This afternoon, Mr. Screech had a severe RAD moment that had me giggling. Lately, I've been getting mad so it felt good to giggle over it for a bit.

We have several riding cars and the boys love to race each other around the house on them. First, Mr. Screech tried to get Mr. Happy's car and when I told him to move on he went to Mr. Stinky's car. I kept telling Mr. Screech to try a different car and he had an excuse for not going to THAT car. Until Mr. Stinky did of course. He followed Mr. Stinky to a different car 4 or 5 times and it was ridiculous. I went to pick him up to get him away from his brother and I was laughing so much I didn't have the strength to lift him. We had a little couch time.

Mr. Stinky had a rippin tantrum and took a toy and launched it at me. He had perfect aim and hit me right in the face so now I have a bruised cheek. I'm thinking he should play baseball.

After he calmed down we had a calm moment on the couch and he talked about missing grandma. We both had a good cry together.

Counting down to our therapy appointment on Friday. 

Oppositional defiance at it's best.

Here is one example of how my ENTIRE day has been with Mr. Screech:

All three boys were playing in our kiddie pool and after trying to mediate I finally made Mr. Stinky and Mr. Screech get out because they were doing everything in their power to make the other mad.

When they came in to change their clothes, I noticed Mr. Screech had mud on him so I told him to jump in the tub and he screamed and cried and told me it makes him too cold so he WILL NO get in the tub. Mr. Stinky asked if he could get in and of course I said, "Yes."

Now Mr. Screech is in a tailspin because I gave him a towel and told him to get dressed. NOW he wants in the tub, but he can wait until bath time tonight. I'm exhausted. Is it 7pm yet?

Passive-Aggressive. It's what's for breakfast!

We had a wonderful day at the beach with Orlando SOUL Sisters Kathie and Heather. They also brought friends so it was just a good day of women chatting and kiddos all over the place. There is something about being with a SOUL Sister that is just uplifting and encouraging.

As we were walking up the beach, to have dinner at a hotel, Mr. Screech lost it and would not stop screaming. I knew it was a hunger meltdown so I tried to calm him and get him something to eat. Finally.This morning he woke a little grumpy, but it passed quickly.

Mr. Happy has decided to be very passive aggressive and he has recently had a session of neurofeedback so I know his brain is working well. I made a big breakfast of sausage, eggs, apples and cinnamon rolls. I waited to give them the cinnamon rolls until after they had eaten everything else and Mr. Stinky and Mr. Screech both asked nicely for theirs. Mr. Happy decided he couldn't remember what they are called so he didn't get one. Realize we had been talking about them all morning so he KNOWS what they are called.

When brushing his teeth he asked me to put toothpaste on his brush and I said, "I'll be there in a minute." When I walked in he was doing it himself and eating it so I took it off his brush and told him he couldn't have any because he didn't wait for mommy and we don't eat toothpaste. He was trying to replace his cinnamon roll treat with toothpaste because it is the sweet kids kind. Uh, no!

He what!?

I saw an invite on Heather Forbes facebook today to "test drive" her online parenting course. My boys were outside playing, I could hear them and all was well so I did. It was a really cool LIVE Q&A session through video chat. Her 10 week course will be live and online with Heather so you might want to check it out.

Towards the end, Mr. Screech comes in crying saying, "Mr. Happy put his hands around my throat and tangled them up."  He frieking put his hands around Mr. Screeches throat and was choking him! Mr. Happy was glued to my hip for the reminder of the afternoon. That child is scary passive aggressive.

I had them come in and watch a 30 minute TV show for my quiet time and I did not leave the room. Apparently, that is not good enough. I look up just in time to see Mr. Happy with his hands around Mr. Screech's neck again! Then Mr. Happy said, "Well, he put his hands around my throat first."  Oh, hell-to-the-no! We are not doing that in this house! Yes, my head did rotate.

I have no idea how to handle this and I'm sure I did it all wrong since all day long I did it all wrong. I have a phone conference scheduled with our therapist tomorrow so I will be asking her. In the mean time my children will not be left unattended for any period of time. I don't need one 4-year-old strangling another to death. Heaven help me...

Do you see what I see?

When you look at this picture what do you see? Perhaps a pair of jeans with holes in the knees?

Look closer and you will really see nerves and triggers. Mr. Stinky put these holes there within the first week of school because he picks and pulls on them so much. This stress is one of the many reasons we have chose to homeschool him.

The other night we were at our favorite restaurant and chatting about how much Mr. Stinky has increased his eating since being home. I said, "He never ate 1/2 as much in a day as he is eating now." and he said, "Yeah, but at school I was hungry all the time."  My heart sank and broke for him and the mommy guilt poured in. He had been sitting in an "institution", holding his emotions together while he was starving and I wonder why he came home and would bounce off the walls and fall apart? Man, I can be SUCH an idiot sometimes. There is nothing quite like a trigger that can cause crazy behaviors.

Losing my mind

Mr. Stinky is not having bad outlandish behavior, but lots of fake laughing, antagonistic behavior and it is sending me over the edge. He never takes a break and I am realizing how much he fills up the silent void with this. I thought Mr. Screech was bad with his chatter, but this might be worse.

Tonight, Mr. Happy had an outlandish moment of spilling water and instead of using Love and Logic I lectured over spilled water. When am I going to learn?

Mr. Screech always tries to make bedtime a battle, and tonight was no exception, even when I use Love and Logic tips like, "Do you want to put your pj's on now or in 5 minutes?" He said, "In 5 minutes" but when the time rolls around he screams and yells he is NOT putting on his pj's. I ignored and went on with the bedtime routine with the other two boys and in the end he lost his story.

I had read the other two and when he handed me his I said in an empathetic tone, "Oh I'm sorry we don't have time to read another story because of all the time it took to put on your pj's." Of course, he went into a tyraid again and I ignored and tucked the other two in bed. He made it to his bed and then I tucked him in too.

Now, I am just exhausted! It is so draining to have a 3-year-old screaming at you.

We had a poop moment

I wondered if this day would eventually come and it has. Mr. Screech played in his poop when he was mad. I know a lot of adoptive families face this issue and I was REALLY hoping we would skip it. Sigh...

I brought Mr. Happy and Mr. Screech home from preschool and Mr. Screech was dancing around because he had to pee. He had stated he didn't go at preschool.

He started for the bathroom, but change his mind when Mr. Happy decided to show me his school papers. I told Mr. Screech to go to the bathroom and I would look at his papers when he was done. (I didn't want a pee accident.) He yelled for me telling me he had pooped and wanted his M&M's. I said I would be there in a minute. He started throwing a fit and the next thing I know he is hitting the toilet and going spastic. When I went in there poop was all over him and the toilet.

I wanted to yell, rant, and rave, but I knew it wouldn't help so I just told him calmly, "Little boys who play in their poop don't get M&M's." This of course made him more mad and he started screaming he wanted his M&M's NOW! Then I saw how much poo was in the toilet, the size if a pea, and I told him it wasn't enough for M&M's anyways. Then he calmed a little. OMG! Can I get an OH MY GROSS!!!

Thankfully, our therapist, Arleta James, has written two lovely blog posts about pee and poop and the adopted child. Here is blog Part 1 and Part 2

Mr. Screech has been fighting with me over EVERY. LITTLE. THING. this week. I say dinners ready and he gets mad and says he doesn't want to eat. I say we are going to the store and he gets mad and says he doesn't want to go. Just insert anything I say and he will say he doesn't want to do it. That is how my week is going. Sigh...