We tend to tiptoe around whenever there is a holiday because of the backlash. I decided I was going to be passive aggressive with Valentine's Day this year and it was a success!!!
When the boys woke up I had made cinnamon rolls and made sure they knew I did it because I love them.
At lunch I made sure they knew I made it because I love them.
I made a giant heart shaped cookie and I made sure they knew I did it because I love them.
My husband took them to buy me some gifts, and I set some out for them, and I made sure they knew it was because I love them.
All day long they ate junk and sweets and I made sure they knew it was because I love them.
I kept inviting the tantrums, but no one took me up on it. They went to bed and all was well on Valentines Day!
After they went to bed I panicked! I realized the next day would be HELL. ON. EARTH. So I was ready once again. I invited the tantrums ALL. DAY. LONG. and it was still a good day. Mr. Screech started to have a meltdown, but quickly used his words and said, "But I don't want Valentine's Day to be over." I clued into what he was REALLY saying and said, "Just because Valentine's Day is over does not mean I have stopped loving you." That was what he needed to hear and we had a wonderful day! Healing is AMAZING!
Showing posts with label Holiday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Holiday. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Getting my homemaker mojo back!
Today, I made French baguettes, scones, truffles and rum cake and it felt so good! I love to cook and bake, but Mr. Screech has robbed me of it for the past 31/2 years. I can barely drag my butt into the kitchen to make them some half assed dinner most evenings and then when they go to bed I flop on the couch exhausted. It has gotten better over time, but today was just awesome!
I plugged them into the tv and let them play on their own without too many issues. I stayed in my PJ's all day and got it done. I'm sure tomorrow I'll pay like crazy for it, but I'm enjoying today!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Thanksgiving Day
This is my first Thanksgiving without my mom and I have so much to be grateful for, but wow do I miss her. Compounded by missing her I am so hurt by my family. It should be a day of being with family, remembering the good times with my mom and having a good time, but they are all having their own Thanksgivings and I was not invited and neither was my dad and his new wife. I know why they were not invited, but I can't figure out why I wasn't so dad and C are coming to our house for Thanksgiving.
When my dad got married my aunt and sister kept talking about all of us sticking together and being there for each other. Where are they today? Not sticking with me. I am a boohooing mess and feeling so alone. Suck! Suck! and more Suck!
I think Mr. Stinky is missing his grandma too because he is a mad mess. Good times and Happy frieking Thanksgiving everyone!
When my dad got married my aunt and sister kept talking about all of us sticking together and being there for each other. Where are they today? Not sticking with me. I am a boohooing mess and feeling so alone. Suck! Suck! and more Suck!
I think Mr. Stinky is missing his grandma too because he is a mad mess. Good times and Happy frieking Thanksgiving everyone!
Monday, April 25, 2011
Easter without Mom/Grandma
We spent the first part of Saturday with my friends family and it was nice. We had great conversation, good food, and the boys enjoyed the egg hunt.
My boys call her mom "Grandma Peggy", but Mr. Screech has started calling her "Mama Peggy." I informed him that she was not his mama and now he is using it as a stick poking tool. Let's remember that Mr. Screech is a brilliant child and doesn't forget a thing, much less who he is supposed to call mama!
From there, we went to my uncle's house for our family get together. Everything was going well until dinner. When we were sitting around eating and talking it really hit that my mom wans't there. Normally, she is a big part of the conversation and I couldn't hear her voice. I had to put my plate down and go have a good cry in the bathroom.
The boys had a good time with the egg hunt and I let them have a couple of treats. Towards the end of the night, I caught Mr. Screech chowing down on more candy. A peep to be specific. I put on my sad voice and told him he had to put it in the trash because he did not ask mommy if he could have it. He flipped out and started into a rage of screaming. I walked him up the stairs to the trash can and he threw it on the floor. At that point I could not breath. All I have to say about this episode is, "grief sucks!"
Shortly after that, we left and I fell apart when I hugged my cousin. I know she gets my grief because her mom died when we were 14-years-old. My dad hugged me and said, "I cry a dozen times a day." Man, I feel for him.
Sunday, Mr. Screech was still a raging, nasty little mess so we had some couch time. After he raged for a while his cry changed to sobs and he fell on my chest saying, "I just miss grandma!" Oh how it broke my heart and we cried together. After that fit, we had a pretty pleasant day.
I googled the stages of grief and this site lists them. One stage is anger and I have not hit it over her death, BUT I feel like I have displaced anger towards my kids. I went to therapy in the fall and it helped. When my kids did things, it did not trigger my anger and I could parent therapeutically. Since my mother's passing I am short with them and impatient and talking in an angry tone. My therapeutic parenting is out the window and they are triggering my anger. I guess it is time for mama to go back to therapy.
My boys call her mom "Grandma Peggy", but Mr. Screech has started calling her "Mama Peggy." I informed him that she was not his mama and now he is using it as a stick poking tool. Let's remember that Mr. Screech is a brilliant child and doesn't forget a thing, much less who he is supposed to call mama!
From there, we went to my uncle's house for our family get together. Everything was going well until dinner. When we were sitting around eating and talking it really hit that my mom wans't there. Normally, she is a big part of the conversation and I couldn't hear her voice. I had to put my plate down and go have a good cry in the bathroom.
The boys had a good time with the egg hunt and I let them have a couple of treats. Towards the end of the night, I caught Mr. Screech chowing down on more candy. A peep to be specific. I put on my sad voice and told him he had to put it in the trash because he did not ask mommy if he could have it. He flipped out and started into a rage of screaming. I walked him up the stairs to the trash can and he threw it on the floor. At that point I could not breath. All I have to say about this episode is, "grief sucks!"
Shortly after that, we left and I fell apart when I hugged my cousin. I know she gets my grief because her mom died when we were 14-years-old. My dad hugged me and said, "I cry a dozen times a day." Man, I feel for him.
Sunday, Mr. Screech was still a raging, nasty little mess so we had some couch time. After he raged for a while his cry changed to sobs and he fell on my chest saying, "I just miss grandma!" Oh how it broke my heart and we cried together. After that fit, we had a pretty pleasant day.
I googled the stages of grief and this site lists them. One stage is anger and I have not hit it over her death, BUT I feel like I have displaced anger towards my kids. I went to therapy in the fall and it helped. When my kids did things, it did not trigger my anger and I could parent therapeutically. Since my mother's passing I am short with them and impatient and talking in an angry tone. My therapeutic parenting is out the window and they are triggering my anger. I guess it is time for mama to go back to therapy.
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