Tuesday, March 1, 2011

She is home.

Mom came home from the hospital this evening. Hospice set us up with everything we need except someone there 24/7. That for me is very overwhelming.

I am not a nurse, nor have I had any training, so I don't know how to move someone, change their bedding with them in it, change them if they are soiled....Holy crap it is a lot for a girl to stress about!!! I know hospice is a phone call away, but I can't call them every time she needs to be cleaned up.

The other thing weighing on me is Orlando. On one side I feel crazy selfish for leaving her and spending 4 days away, but I also feel I need to build my support system for my kids. My mom is my supporter so who do I have to lean on when she is gone? I think I'm gonna need my Orlando Sisters so I need to fine someone to be with my mom on Friday and Monday. Say a prayer for me?

Through all this my boys are being so awesome! The Mr. is caring for them while I have been gone every day and even when I come home and see them for a little bit they just snuggle up and love on me. It is awesome!

When we were getting mom settled I felt so bad because I snapped at Mr. Stinky and he held back the tears. I immediately went on my knees and hugged him and told him I was sorry and I was stressed a little bit. He is being so good and I wasn't. I am having a ton of mommy guilt over it.


Sarah said...

*hugs* and prayers for you and your family!

I am a nurse, and I have some experience with home hospice. If your mother would want you to go, and if you can manage it- I believe you should go. And if you want to talk while you are there come find me. I can't say that I have been there... but I have helped a lot of families through it. It is never easy. But I do commend you for having your mother at home- death is a part of life, and most people are more comfortable dying where they have lived their life.

Again- hugs and prayers to you and remember you have to take care of yourself, too. Your mother would want you to.

Corey said...

See if you can contact the VNA.. visiting nurses association. Even if they do not have full time nurses that could come and stay with her those days (although they may) they may have contacts that could.

I'm so sorry.. what a tough place to be. We will love on you extra.

Lisa said...

I am so, so, so sorry.

Sending cyber hugs until I can give them in person. I've got some extra big hugs waiting for you.