Thursday, March 3, 2011

I'm going!

I have been in such turmoil over whether to go to Orlando or not and I have been praying for God to give me a clear cut sign so I would know. Yesterday, I talked to my dad about it and it was such a relief when he told me I needed to go. He specifically said, "God would want you to go because we all need a break sometimes." Peace just came over me and I knew it was ok.

I am at my parents hanging out with my mom and this could be the last time I see her awake and that breaks my heart. It is really hard for me to let go and let others care for her, but I know she will be in good hands with my family. It has been a long stressful year with her diagnosis of cancer, but I would not trade a minute of it of the extra time I got to spend with her.

Today, I talked to Mr. Stinky because I know he is holding his emotions in over this. I said, "I knew you are having a hard time and it is ok talk about it." He said, It is hard when I see you crying while you're driving or talking on the phone." That made me start crying again. He reached out and gave me the sweetest hug and then I cried on his shoulder for a bit. I told him, "Thank you for lending your shoulder because now I feel so much better."

Before I left this afternoon, I gave the boys pictures of me with them to put in their photo albums and I included a picture of them with their grandma. They were so excited.
When I was saying, "Good bye" on the porch and giving hugs and kisses Mr. Stinky was holding back the tears and was suddenly so interested in a dead worm. Hello coping skills!

I am getting on a plane in less than 12 hours and I am nervous and excited.


Megan said...

YOU deserve it! Hope this weekend is everything you need it to be!

Mama Drama Times Two said...

Sad for all the loss and worry and happy for the respite and comfort you'll find here with us crazy mommas in Orlando.

Lisa said...

What a gift to finally meet you, my new forever friend! Sorry it took me a minute to figure it out. I told you I was slow. :)