We had a poop moment

I wondered if this day would eventually come and it has. Mr. Screech played in his poop when he was mad. I know a lot of adoptive families face this issue and I was REALLY hoping we would skip it. Sigh...

I brought Mr. Happy and Mr. Screech home from preschool and Mr. Screech was dancing around because he had to pee. He had stated he didn't go at preschool.

He started for the bathroom, but change his mind when Mr. Happy decided to show me his school papers. I told Mr. Screech to go to the bathroom and I would look at his papers when he was done. (I didn't want a pee accident.) He yelled for me telling me he had pooped and wanted his M&M's. I said I would be there in a minute. He started throwing a fit and the next thing I know he is hitting the toilet and going spastic. When I went in there poop was all over him and the toilet.

I wanted to yell, rant, and rave, but I knew it wouldn't help so I just told him calmly, "Little boys who play in their poop don't get M&M's." This of course made him more mad and he started screaming he wanted his M&M's NOW! Then I saw how much poo was in the toilet, the size if a pea, and I told him it wasn't enough for M&M's anyways. Then he calmed a little. OMG! Can I get an OH MY GROSS!!!

Thankfully, our therapist, Arleta James, has written two lovely blog posts about pee and poop and the adopted child. Here is blog Part 1 and Part 2

Mr. Screech has been fighting with me over EVERY. LITTLE. THING. this week. I say dinners ready and he gets mad and says he doesn't want to eat. I say we are going to the store and he gets mad and says he doesn't want to go. Just insert anything I say and he will say he doesn't want to do it. That is how my week is going. Sigh...

First Day of Preschool

I dropped the boys off at their first day of preschool. I talked to the teacher for a bit, snapped some pictures and then wanted one with their teacher. They each came over and gave pouty faces for the camera.
They ran off to play and I said my good byes. Surprisingly, no one had a melddown and I headed out.

I came home and sat on the couch and enjoyed the silence for a few minutes. Then for the next 2 hours I cleaned the bathrooms, dusted, vacuumed and mopped floors. It was refreshing to work interruption free.

When I picked them up, Mr. Screech came running with his things and appeared to be in a good mood. Mr. Happy had no clue we had even shown up even though the teacher had called his name to come. This made me wonder if he regressed at school and zoned out most of the time. When Mr. Happy is stressed he goes far far away into his own little world and does not respond well.

Since I parent trauma, I fully expected them to come home grumpy and snarky, especially, Mr. Screech. Low and behold they have been happy and loving and full of joy. It makes my heart sing and today I fell a little more in love with them both. It is amazing how much better a recharged mama can feel.

This is progress from last school year because they both had a hard time being left, but then again they were in separate preschools and now they are together. That might make a difference.

The Smack

Before church, I was sitting on the couch with all two of the boys watching some Curious George. Mr. Stinky got really mad at Mr. Screech for walking in front of him and growled and grouched at him twice. On the second grouch I smacked Mr. Stinky's knee and immediately regretted it because smacking always results in a huge blow-up.

Surprisingly, all I got was a glare and Mr. Stinky hiding under the couch cushion. I apologized for smacking him and then coached him on what he should have said instead of growling and grouching at his brother. Then we went back to watching Curious George and he snuggled against me. After a bit he reached his hand up behind me and started playing with my hair. He has never done that before. Yay, for progress with Mr. Stinky!

My First Post of Many

I am a mother of three boys adopted from Russia and I parent a lot of trauma. I say that because under all of their outward behaviors there are sweet boys under there wanting love from a mama and papa. Outwardly, they show us rejection and unlovable behavior.

I want adoptive parents to know they are not alone because parenting trauma is very lonely place. You are judge like never before and you lose friends and family. I know because I live it.